With the volunteers of de Alles Oké? Supportlijn you can talk about anything. Below are examples of topics we regularly discuss with young adults. Is your subject not listed, or is the situation slightly different than described here? You can of course also contact us. No subject is too crazy or weird and no problem is too small or too big. Really, you can talk about everything!
A problem with alcohol is very difficult and can manifest itself in different ways. It may be that you don't drink or drink little and you are tired of always having to explain to others 'why you say no to booze'. Or you notice that you are drinking alcohol more and more often than you would like. You may be concerned about someone close to you who drinks a lot. The behavior of someone who drinks too much often also has consequences for the people around that person.
We live with many different cultures in one country. Not everyone was born here. Differences in culture can lead to misunderstanding and problems within families, relationships and friendships. People with a 'second culture' sometimes struggle with their identity and/or feel disconnected from the people around them. Feeling heard is important then. Talk to us about it, it's 100% confidential. Your telephone bill therefore does not show that you have called us.
Anyone can have a slump or feel down. Things sometimes go wrong and that can be quite upsetting. That gloomy mood often disappears again. People who are depressed are gloomy for a longer period of time and hardly feel like anything. Depression affects your feelings, thoughts and mood. Do you want to talk about your gloomy feelings or do you want to ask for help, but you don't know how? Talking about it with someone who really listens is a first step to feeling better in the future.
Drug use has increased. During parties and going out, it is often very common to also have narcotics available. You didn't want to say no because everyone else was doing it. Or maybe you started yourself out of pure curiosity. At first it was harmless and soon you couldn't stop. Or maybe you're worried about someone in your area who uses (too much). Because what effect does the use have, physically but also mentally?
To feel lonely is to feel disconnected from others. You can feel lonely in a group when you feel that the others don't understand you and you don't quite belong. You can also feel lonely in your relationship if you don't feel seen and heard. People who are lonely often close themselves off from others. They may spend a lot of time online, listening to music or gaming. But they feel empty, sad and sometimes anxious. Does this look familiar? Talk to us about it.
Food can control your life to the extreme. People with an eating disorder or eating disorder focus very much on food and calories. Their self-image depends on their weight or body. As a result, they eat too much or too little. This is often at the expense of their health. Do you recognize this? Then you probably also know that it is mentally tough, because your environment sees your eating pattern differently than you do. This leads to misunderstanding and sometimes a fight. A good first step is to talk to someone about it.
Within your family you should feel safe and heard, but the reality is sometimes different. For example, when you are dealing with a fight, violence or abuse. When you experience something like this, you may feel pain, anger, anger or sadness. You may also feel torn between choosing yourself and being faithful to your family. You don't talk to others about it because of the consequences. You can talk to us anonymously and you decide what you want to talk about or not.
Gaming often starts innocently as a hobby or leisure activity. Or from loneliness when you have few activities outside the door. But when you lose control of your gaming behavior, it can take a toll on sleep, social activities, and performance at school or work. To escape these problems, the temptation is very great to play even more. Talk about it if you can't stop gaming.
If you grew up with money problems, it has a big impact on the rest of your life. Or maybe you have money problems now that you have to stand on your own two feet. The worries you have due to financial problems can occupy you all day long. As a result, for example, you are quickly stimulated and you close yourself off from others. With all its consequences. It is then difficult to stay positive and see solutions. It is good to share your concerns with someone.
If you are in doubt about your identity, you probably have many questions. About how you feel, about what is 'normal' and about who you are or want to be. Maybe you're being bullied because of your hair, makeup, your clothes, or how you see the world. And that while you are just yourself. Then you can feel lonely or misunderstood. Talking to someone who doesn't judge is really a relief. A conversation can be about you, but of course also about someone in your environment who you see struggling with identity.
Perpetrators of violence and threats are often known to the victim. That is why violence often takes place at home. There are different forms of violence, but they all have many consequences for the victims and those around them: anger, pain, guilt and powerlessness. Talking about what you have seen, experienced or are still experiencing may feel like a big step. But know that your story is safe with us. We don't need to know who you are and you're not tied to anything.
You know them, those commercials about gambling. With lots of color and flashing lights. The reality is much less colorful than the commercials show. In your urge to win you can lose yourself. You gamble with money needed for your daily life and get into trouble. So it goes from bad to worse. You are ashamed of your gambling problems and feel lonely. Breaking free from these problems is very difficult to do alone. Talking about it is a good first step.
Do you recognize that? That you hear yourself say 'yes' again, when you would rather say 'no'? Saying no is quite difficult, especially when people around you put pressure on you. It can be about different situations: saying no to alcohol or drugs, saying no if your boss wants you to work more hours or saying no to a touch you don't like. Clearly indicating your limit helps yourself and the people around you. Talk about it if this is difficult for you.
Love and infatuation can be wonderful. But love can also be bad for you, for example when you lose yourself. And what if you are madly in love, but you don't dare to tell? Maybe you know that the love you feel will not be accepted by those around you. In those cases, love can be debilitating. Sometimes it helps to take some distance for a while. But if that doesn't bring peace, talk about it. We stand outside the situation and listen to your story.
You can feel insecure about a lot of things. About your appearance, your relationship, your job, finances and much more. Everyone suffers from it sometimes. Sometimes uncertainty is short-lived and you can get rid of it without help from others. If uncertainty lasts longer, it sometimes leads to more complaints. By talking to others about it in time, you may be able to put your uncertainty into perspective. Would you rather do that with someone who is outside your situation? Then please contact us.
Whether you have a fight with your parents, lover or best friend: it's so annoying! You may not be completely in agreement on a particular topic or decision. And something small can become much bigger very quickly. You prefer to avoid each other for a while, but that is usually not the solution. Talking about it, yes, but that might be the last thing you want. Taking a break to cool off is good. Talking about it with us might also give you new insights.
We don't talk much about sex, the subject is often taboo. But it is also a topic about which you can have many questions. What is 'normal' and how do you indicate what you like? With a negative experience or even abuse, the threshold to talk about it is often high. But your pain, doubts, or guilt won't go away on their own. It can be a huge relief to tell your story to someone who doesn't know you. And know that we don't find anything crazy or weird, you can ask or discuss anything.
You can have stress for anything and everything. Your work, your relationship, study, money. Your body reacts to a situation that involves uncertainty or ambiguity. You feel bad, you are tense and your heart rate and breathing may even increase. Relaxing is easier said than done. If you know the cause of the stress, then it is necessary to address that problem. And it's not surprising if you don't know where the stress comes from.
Study time is the best time of your life, right? Perhaps, but studying can also cause a lot of pressure and doubt. A lot is changing: new environment, rooms, new friends, doing an internship. Your studies may seem different or more difficult than expected and you feel the pressure to perform. And to belong, because student life also demands a lot from you. Is it all getting too much? Talk about it to prevent it from getting worse.
When you lose someone, it often means that they die. But you can also lose someone because a friendship is over, or, for example, because someone becomes very ill. In all cases you grieve for someone who was there before, but is no longer there. In that process you feel pain, sadness, despair or fear. How intense that emotion is differs per person. It's good to talk about how you feel and know that there is no rule for how you should feel.
Whether it's a side job or a permanent job: work can be fun, but it has to suit you. Various parts of your work play a role in this: your colleagues, the content of the work and the culture of the organisation. If you have to walk on your toes too much, you will get stress. If there is no challenge, you will get bored. Do you have a meeting with your boss soon? Practice with us what you want to say. Or how next time you can say 'no' to extra hours or other tasks.
Corona, the war in Ukraine, protests in our own country. Reading the newspaper sometimes doesn't make you happy. Sometimes something hits you so hard that you can't let it go. You worry about the future and the people around you. You discuss many topics with family or friends, but they may not fully understand your concerns. It's good to know you're not alone in this. A conversation about this can help put your concerns into perspective.
What does that do to you when you hear that you are (seriously) ill? You may feel sad, angry, anxious, lonely or insecure. You have a lot of questions about what this means for the future. Or are you dealing with a long-term illness or treatment? That's understandable if it all gets too much for you. Even if someone close to you is sick, you can feel all these emotions. You want to be there for the other person, but who is there for you? Talk to us about it, that's a relief.