Sometimes a conversation can stick with you for a long time, for example because you do not know the outcome. Such is the case with this conversation from six months ago. The young woman I spoke to was so incredibly brave and so positive. Even though she had ended up in a difficult situation. And then I sometimes wonder how she is doing now…
She was 21 and she said she was raised very Christian and very traditional. Faith was always strong in her family. Her mother took care of the children and her father decided of everything. “What education we received, what training we had to do. It felt like your entire life path had already been mapped out for you," she said.
She had experienced the family as suffocating and was proud that she had been separated from it for two years. She now lived on her own, stood on her own two feet and, as the oldest, was an example for her brothers and sisters. She surprised me with the addition: “But I'm actually calling for something completely different”.
She had fallen in love a few years ago. To a nice boy, also from a Christian family. That was a nice thought, because it might have made it easier for her father. However, things turned out differently, because just after she started living on her own, the boy converted to Islam. Suddenly he was a convinced Muslim, a change that was sometimes difficult for her to comprehend.
“And now I'm pregnant,” she continued. "It wasn't planned and we don't even live together." She was incredibly happy about it, it was clear to hear that. But she was also sad about what her friend had said. “He said if I kept it, we would raise it Islamic. There was no doubt about that. He has taken his position and now I have to move on and see what I do.”
Why did she call de Alles Oké? Supportlijn? Especially to tell her story once. Her boyfriend didn't want to talk about it when she really needed to. No one else knew yet. I listened… I listened to her give words to her feelings and put everything in order during the conversation. I complimented her on her approach so far and her determination to keep in touch with him.
“I'm glad I could tell you everything”, she said at the end of the conversation. "I didn't know what to expect but I feel relieved and it's great to know that I can always call you."
Mary-Anne (43) is a secretary and previously worked as a volunteer at De Kindertelefoon. About working at the Alles Oké? Supportlijn she says: “It is very special that someone is walking around with a problem and has not yet told anyone. And that you are the first to whom they tell their story. That sometimes makes a deep impression on me.”