After the first check whether he could discuss his problem with me, the boy indicated in this conversation that he was unable to study. He had an exam soon, but it didn't work. “Can't you concentrate?” I asked. No, that wasn't the point.

He studied law and wondered if he had made the right choice. He was afraid that he would not graduate and then not have a diploma. But only a student loan. “And what if I later want to buy a house and take out a mortgage?”. He saw the future not so bright and that gave him a lot of stress. In his head he mainly had the image of his parents, of 'how things should be later'. And he doubted whether he could live up to that image.

His bar was set very high because he felt that he should have his life in order. "I'm 19, I'm an adult right?" But those negative thoughts caused him to worry and study was not successful. It often happens that something like an upcoming exam becomes something really big in your head. I told him that many students struggle with this. He didn't know that because "we don't talk about that".

After I let him express his concerns about the future, I first indicated that it is perfectly normal to wonder about these things. Only becoming mature is a process and not something you become overnight. “Doubts and uncertainty are part of the development you are going through, that is also normal,” I indicated. We therefore discussed the possible consequences of his difficult choice: to stop with the study or to continue.

I suggested to think less far ahead first. He didn't need all the answers for later, it was important to focus on the exam first. We talked about his schedule and the hours he thought he would need for the exam. “And what are you going to do first after the interview?” I asked. “I'm going to go out for a walk first. Then I make that plan and just start step by step”. “I wish you the best of luck,” I concluded.