Jason about trauma

Sometimes a conversation needs to get going, which is of course not surprising. A conversation we have with a young adult is anonymous. You don't know eachother and yet you discuss major events with eachother.

In the conversation I had with a girl some time ago, she started awkwardly. "I don't know why I'm calling and I don't know what to tell you now," she said. I gave her examples of conversations we have with young adults. I told them that as volunteers we sometimes just listen, and that we can also think along about a first step. “And we can also talk about something completely different first and of course you always only tell what you want”.

She said she didn't know what she would like out of this conversation and there wasn't really a reason why she called now. “How has your day been so far?” I asked. She had gone for a run, had already gone shopping and she didn't really need much else today. “What else am I supposed to do tonight, I'm sitting here alone and then it all comes out”.

The conversation lasts 15 minutes before she explains what is actually bothering her. I can understand that she needs a little longer if you know what she's been through. It is also very understandable that she wants to trust me first and be reassured. Only then does she dare to tell.

She was removed from home at a young age, lives in foster care, has been abused in the past and has also been 'made available' to other men. She has had trauma treatments and has trouble trusting people. She's had that for a long time, but it's even more difficult now that she has a boyfriend. She keeps wondering if she's doing the right thing, if he thinks the relationship is okay. She is in therapy for that insecurity. She says it does her good to organize the information from her last therapy session with the conversation. Because the trauma is deep and she suffers from it on so many different moments.

What impressed me most is the reason she enjoyed this conversation. She said, “I'm glad I could tell it all to you. When I tell other people that I have experienced this, they are shocked. They don't know what to say and feel bad. And that's because of me. Then I want to make it up to them and you don't have to do that now." And that's right, you can discuss everything with us!

About Jason

Jason is 22 years old and has been working at the Alles Oké? Supportlijn for four months. He studies and lives in a student house. He says about the work at de supportlijn: “We also talk about many topics that come up during work in the student house. But, of course, not everyone has someone to talk to about what's bothering you. That's why I think it's cool to do this for others."